Day 2 and 3 of 80 Day Obsession

Starting out Day 2 was a little rougher than Day 1. I was tired, I knew I had a 60-minute workout in front of me, and I was sore.  

But I completed the workout.  Not well, but I finished and kept moving the whole time.

I should have taken a picture of me struggling with my resistance bands. I think I worked up more of a sweat trying to do that than anything else.  And the bands kept rolling on me and they hurt as they dug into my legs.  I'm hoping the bands get easier to adjust and maneuver.

Right now I prop my iPad on the coffee table to watch the workout. It's good for now, but Eric ordered an Apple TV to convert our tv in the family room so I can watch my workouts on that. (I'm on the floor dying as I shot this upward camera angle!)

Struggling!

You can see the green band around my thighs. Painful.

I want to take a "self-love" photo each day. I forgot to take one earlier in the day, so this was at the end of the day after I took my contacts out.

After completing my evening "routine." I use the word lightly because it hasn't been a routine all that long. I take all my makeup off with a wipe. Then I floss, rub night cream on my face, brush my teeth, and then apply undereye cream. I like to intersperse the creams so one has a chance to "set."  I don't know if this thinking is accurate, but it makes sense to me. Finally I swish with mouthwash. I really want to see if super hyped up dental care will make my next appointment less drastic.

Wal Mart branch makeup removers. They work pretty well.

Night cream and undereye cream.

No makeup in this photo. Freshly washed and lotioned. I feel like the large dark spot on my cheek is less noticeable when I am consistent with washing and lotions.

DAY 3

My look says it all. Cardio Core was intense. Notice the time on the clock.  And that is the time I finished my workout!

My favorite breakfast starts with tiny diced potatoes in a beautiful new pan.

There's a whole lot of food prep going on over there. Wednesdays are my hardest days because I have to make breakfast and plan ahead for both a lunch and a dinner since I have college class this night. It isn't too bad if I plan ahead. If I don't plan, I'm scrambling. I've got it down to a decent science. With prepping ahead, I was able to make a full breakfast, lunch, and dinner in about 20 minutes flat.

So much food on one plate, but all Whole30 compliant. (I'm not doing an official Whole30, but want to eat that way when possible because I know how good it makes me feel.)

Harry got in some snuggles while I ate my breakfast.

Sweet little dog.

You saw my breakfast. Lunch is cut up thin rib-eye steak, cucumbers, tomatoes, cantaloupe, and pineapples. Dinner is in the green bowl and it's a giant salad that includes: spinach, broccoli slaw, cabbage slaw, tomatoes, black olives, chicken, cashews, almond slices, red and yellow peppers, cucumbers, and Whole30 compliant ranch dressing. I probably won't be able to eat it all at school tonight.

Finally for today, my self-love picture.

80 Day Obsession

Today was Day 1 of Beach Body's 80-Day Obsession. I completed Day 1. Only 79 more to go.

Another piece of self care for me is taking time to do hair, makeup, and jewelry. It all adds together to help me feel more confident and ready to tackle the day.

I will not be posting before pictures. All you get is the picture I took of myself after getting ready this morning. I may never post pictures because I'm just too embarrassed about how I have let myself go. 

However, with that being said, I am trying really hard not to be too down on myself.  I'm trying to just be neutral to positive and realistic with the situation. There are many reasons why I gained weight and lost any semblance of being in shape.

I hate that it happened, but it did. The more important thing is what am I going to do moving forward?

I don't want to enter my late 40s and 50s with aches, pains, and problems. I'd like to be able to run, hike, and climb stairs!  I want to have energy.  I want to be able to handle life's ups and downs without turning to food for comfort.

So, I completed Day 1 of this program. I will finish it. Starting today puts Day 80 on the Fourth of July!  How cool is that?!  I am making this promise to show up for myself each and every day. I deserve to give myself an hour of time to improve my health, mood, and outlook.

It's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it to look back in 80 days and know that I finished what I set out to do.

I'm still working on the food side of it. My plan is to follow a mostly Whole30 approach to food. I still have had no soda since Dec.31. Yes, I miss it every single day. I'm not one of those who says I'm not missing anything. I miss it every SINGLE day.

I made sure to eat a Whole30 favorite breakfast of mine. Chicken apple sausauge, peppers, onions, and potatoes and a pinch of coconut oil to cook it all in.

Got my lunch prepared and ready for the day.

And I prepped chicken and steak so that lunches are easy to throw together for the rest of the week.

Day 1 of this adventure. I hope to see that consistency will pay off.

Spring Break Self-Care Health Update

After posting two days ago, I wanted to check in with myself and see what, if any, progress I have made in self-care.

In my mind, progress is made in tiny baby steps. So, for the past two days I have done the following:

-made my bed each day
-put on makeup each day
-removed my makeup at the end of the day
-used face lotion/eye cream morning and night
-did my hair each day
-dyed my hair to remove gray (heading back to red and have put this off forever!)
-flossed and brushed my teeth each night (had a long dentist appt on Wednesday that always gets me motivated to have better teeth habits)
-exercised: We ordered Beachbody On Demand so I can literally choose from hundreds of workouts. On Wednesday I did Cize Crazy 8's and on Thursday I did 21-Day Extreme Upper Body Strength.

Just dyed hair. Even though I used the color "True Red," my hair is still pretty dark. It'll take a few rounds before the red really starts to show as red. If you look at my roots, you can see the red-ness.

Proof of self-care...hair is dyed/styled, makeup is on, teeth are clean, bed is made!

My exercise plan is to do something each day. It can be as simple as a walk or stretching and as intense as a program. On this coming Wednesday, I'm going to start the five-day Obsession plan to get ready for 80-Day Obsession that I plan to start on April 16. There is an instagram account that I follow and the girl is going through 80 days starting on the 16th, so I want to start on the same day.

I feel better when I exercise. I know it makes me better.  Not much else can be said about that. Gotta do it. Even when my brain begs me to stay in bed. Gotta do it.  I never finish a workout and say gee, I wish I had skipped that. Gotta do it.

Next step is food. Working on it.

I gave up soda for the year. It was my new year's resolution. I have not cheated. I want soda every day. Over three months in to no soda and the craving is as strong as ever. I don't understand people who say the craving disappears. It hasn't for me.

The next thing I need to give up is candy. And sugar. It does nothing for me. I'm starting that today. No more candy or sweet treats for the rest of the year. (I just finished off the bags of candy I bought last night.)

Friday morning. Hair is not done...yet. I have a doctor appointment. Let's just say that being a female and getting older are not always fun. This appointment will give me options for the next steps in getting older and dealing with health changes. Sigh.

I think these are some good starts for "Project Feel Better Heather."  The name clearly needs to be a work in progress!

Goodness gracious! It has been almost four years since I posted anything on this blog.

So why am I posting today?

Because I need a space to write about things that only relate to me. But first, for my own sake of catching up, let me recap the last four years and compare them to where I was back in July of 2014!

Four years ago I was still in my 30's...granted, I was 39, but that counts! I think at that time I still believed that with just a little bit of effort, I could easily lose weight. I don't think that anymore. I know how hard it is. I know that motivation comes and goes. I know that determination is a better character trait.

Four years ago, my kids were 9 and 6. They were not able to stay home by themselves at that point like they can now. I drove a minivan. Now I drive a Honda Civic named Snowflake! I was teaching 8th grade (still am). Eric and I were coming up on our 11th anniversary (soon to be 15). Since that time, I have a new car, Eric rides a Goldwing Motorcycle, I have started back to school working on my Administrative Credential, and our oldest will be in high school in less than five months.

Evan on yearbook picture day. I used to make fun of parents (in my head) when they got all emotional about their kids growing up, graduating, or moving onto the next grade. Shame on me! I'll never do that again. If there is one thing that getting older is teaching me, it is to not judge others for how they deal with their life.

Our Christmas pajama photo. Not that you can tell any of us are in pajamas.

A rare photo where I like how I look. I was getting ready for Halloween where I was Mrs. Potato Head. On one hand, I loved my costume because it was easy. On the other hand, I never seem to feel worthy of the "princess" or "pretty" costumes because I'm not pretty enough or small enough or dainty enough. I do this every year. I've been the witch, the potato, the dragon, etc. One year I was Wendy Darling, but it still wasn't Tinker Bell. This new round of posting is hopefully going to help me get through these feelings of self doubt and disregard.

Another random day where I felt almost pretty. Hair curled, makeup on, but hating my body. Another thing I have noticed lately is that I look older. Or at least I feel like I look older. I feel like in one year I have aged three years. The wrinkles are more noticeable. The sun spots are darker and spreading. The pores are bigger. I just feel like no matter what I do, I still look old underneath the hair and makeup. That is hard for me.

A new development in our life is riding the motorcycle. Eric uses it to commute to work, but we like to head out on weekends together. Shocking fact: I got my motorcycle license and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

When Eric upgraded his motorcycle to the Goldwing, I decided to take a course to get my license so I could ride the VTX. I'm amazed I passed the course because I was really bad!  But I did. Then I took the test at the DMV and FAILED! I was mortified, embarrassed, and did not want to go back, but I had to. Two sons were looking at me to see how I would handle this setback/failure/discouragement. I studied and tried again...and passed with 100%! Then I took the VTX to the parking lot at the high school, and decided I don't really want to ride my own bike. I like being on the back of Eric's bike. I'll let him do the worrying. Maybe someday I'll be ready to handle a bike on my own. In the meantime, we sold the VTX. If I do ride on my own, I'd like something a little bit smaller.

I'm really proud of myself for sticking it out and doing something WAAAAAAY out of the box for me. I didn't give up. That was huge.

Another big change for me is going back to school. I'm about a month away from completing the first semester. My partner teacher and I go to class every Wednesday and every other Monday. We had spring break last week, and it was so weird being home on a Wednesday. I didn't know what to do with myself.

Okay, so why am I here?  Why am I attempting to revive this blog?  It isn't for anyone but me. Yes, it's public, but that's okay.

This concept of self-care has really been resonating with me lately and I need to realize exactly what that means. I used to think it meant selfishly taking time to be by myself. I realize that it is a lot more than that. I was spending time alone, but I was doing things that did not contribute to better care for myself. Eating sugar and drinking soda while binge watching Netflix is not exactly self-care! Here are some things that it means to me:

• Exercise - for weight loss and for emotional stability. When I get stressed, I spin into a bit of depression. Exercise is one of the best ways for me to avoid this. Exercise helps me deal with the stress in the first place.
• Eating right - same as above. I have been through two official rounds of Whole30 and two more partial rounds. Each time I feel a sense of clarity when I eat healthy food choices.
• Avoid sugar - this is probably my biggest problem. It adds to weight, depression, anxiety, and stress. It does nothing but control me. It is an addiction.
• Hair - when I don't "style" my hair in the morning I feel frumpy and not as confident. Also, when I let my gray get noticeable because I don't want to take the time to dye it, that adds to the frumpiness. It's an endless cycle. I feel frumpy because I don't do my hair, but not doing my hair makes me feel frumpy. And when I feel frumpy, I don't want to take care of myself. And so on.
• Makeup - same as hair. I feel better when I take the time to do my makeup. I feel more confident. I feel more put together. I am not trying to cover up my face, but enhance it and feel better about myself.
• Eyebrows - I really need to make appointments to have these puppies waxed regularly.
• Proper time to get schoolwork done - when I leave things to the last minute, it adds to the stress and anxiety on top of all my other responsibilities.
• Pleasure reading - I read 130 books last year. I think I've read 7 this year. I have gotten too busy with school, but I think with a little planning, I can fit it into small pockets of time to do something that is really important to me. I won't be anywhere near 130 books, but that doesn't mean I should give up altogether.

It should be noted that the only thing I really LOVE on this list is the last one. All the other ones are things I know I should do to make myself feel better. And when I feel better, I keep up with all those things!

I'm on Spring Break right now. I still got up at 4 a.m, worked on some college work and then did a 30-minute workout. We just subscribed to Beach Body On Demand. I want to use it enough to justify the price. (It was not crazy expensive, but still, I don't want to waste the money.) I did Cize Crazy 8's. It was pretty cool. I huffed and puffed. The best part is that I don't have to drive to the gym. That literally adds 30 minutes to the exercise process: 15 minutes there and 15 minutes home. If I do the workouts at home, I really don't have much of an excuse. And I can look as goofy as I want from mismatched clothes to crazy arms flailing about while I pretend to dance.

I got my exercise ring on my Apple Watch this morning and had enough motivation to write a blog post here and on my family blog. That's good progress!

Here's to hoping I come back and post frequently about my progress.

Yoga and a Dog

I am not very good at yoga.  I am definitely not very good at yoga when Buddy is trying to kiss me!

That's okay.  I got up, got the 30 minutes done, and am moving on with my day.

I start the next round of intense exercise for my plan on Sunday.

Putting Myself "Out There"

We use that phrase a lot..."putting yourself out there."  But what does that really mean?  For me it means that I just went very public with my desire to be a more fit and healthier version of myself.  It means I have shared on Facebook in a very public way that I am trying to lose weight, eat right, and be accountable to myself and my family.

It also means that I want to help people.  I want to support others in their fitness goals as others have helped me.

 I am pretty excited about all these X's.  They mean that I have been consistent in working out.  They mean that I have not given up even when I've been tired, or cranky, or lifeless, or bloated, or any number of other excuses.  These X's mean that I'm changing my life through the power of consistency.

I really like the Beachbody P90X3 workout DVDs.  I like that they are tough.  I know I'm getting a good work out.  I also like that they are only 30 minutes, because let's face it, time is at a minimum.  I am not bored at all, and Tony Horton makes me smile.  He's pretty funny.  I think those are some good qualities in an exercise DVD.

And these suckers are helping me do that as well.  My little three pound weight in the middle is the one I used this morning to do a cardiovascular workout.  You wouldn't think that holding an itty bitty 3 pound weight would be any big deal, but OH MY GOSH does it ever make a difference!  Sweat city!

*Honest moment - I haven't lost a significant amount of weight, because I'm not perfect in any way, and I'm still working on getting my food intake into a healthy balance.  However, I know I'm getting stronger.  My balance and muscles are more noticeable.  I can do push up on my toes!  I couldn't do that 4 weeks ago!

Lazy Sunday

Woke up this morning to get ready for church.  It was the first Sunday of the month which is OLPH Student day.  The students basically do all the parts of the Mass and we try to get as many students as possible to wear their uniforms.  Hudson sat with us, but Evan likes to be an usher.  He likes taking the collection money back to the sacristy.

Friends sitting by us at Mass asked if we wanted to get lunch at Dog House Grill.  Of course!  I've been craving Dog House Grill for weeks now, but every time we go there, the parking lot is full and it is a pain to find parking elsewhere or jockey for a table.  Finally, I got my tri tip salad with delicious ranch.  Worth it!

This is what I normally eat there, a tri tip sandwich and fries, but I soooooo wanted the tri tip salad instead.  Those fries dipped in ranch are amazing!  Hit the spot this afternoon.

The rest of the day was spent sleeping.  I was just so wiped out all day.  I watched tv, slept, watched more tv, and read blogs.

I did, however, get on the elliptical a bit ago and got in a pretty decently hard 30 minute workout.  Now I'm tired and ready for a quick bath and bed.  It's a good thing that night workouts don't rev me up.  I could easily drop off to sleep right now.

I am planning to go to trampoline class tomorrow.  I ate limited sugar today.  Feeling good.  Heading in the right direction.