Odd Problem

I had an odd problem. I apologize ahead of time if this post seems rambling. I'm trying to sort out my thoughts as I type.

We had a teacher work day at school today. Kids stayed home and teachers had a chance to finalize grades for the 2nd Trimester. I had the opportunity to dress very casual today without kids around.

Since the weather is getting nicer, and I wore my jeans yesterday, I pulled out my khaki capris to wear. Now mind you, these are the capris that I wore every other day last summer...because they were one of two things that fit me. I love these capris. They are cute. At least I think they are cute. I've never been much of a fashionista.

These are the capris that always made me feel slim, even when I definitely wasn't.

What's the problem? The capris are now too big.

Why is that a problem? I'm not sure. I just know that it bothered me all day.

(This is where the post might ramble and not make much sense.)

I am obviously happy that my body is shrinking and getting healthier. However, this process can be rather emotional. I have lost just over 29 pounds, and I look different and feel different. So, why am I so irritated that these pants are big?

I'm just guessing here, but one of the reasons may be because it bothers me that the pants were this big to begin with. It's hard to admit how heavy I was. Another reason seems to be that these were the pants that I felt the most comfortable in. Now I have to find new clothes that make me feel good, and that is a rather daunting process.

I'm sure I looked rather silly all day wandering around school with super baggy pants. That and the fact that I was hiking them up all day like a little kid.

One thing I do know is that I won't be wearing these pants anymore. However, I am afraid of getting rid of them permanently. What if I gain the weight back? What if I lose my motivation and stop running? Or, is it a cop out hanging onto clothes that are too large? Does it give me an out "just in case" I gain weight?

This whole "pants" issue also raises questions for me about why I became overweight in the first place. Weight issues are often about emotional issues. I used to say that "I just like food." But there has got to be more to it than that. My incessant need for sugar was beyond "just liking food."

I guess these are some questions that I need to give some serious thought to in order to successfully keep the weight off. In the meantime, I am going to keep doing what I am doing. I'll be trying to make the healthiest food choices while staying within my WW points, and I'll be running.

It looks like I may need to buy some new clothes for summer. Hey, this year I may actually wear shorts rather than capris pants every other day!